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Added Value

Attending a conference, for me, feels like an overload of inspiration, excitement, learning, and momentum, followed by a crash-landing of a return to real life. In an effort to maintain some momentum and consolidate my own learning, I decided to write about the things I learned and apply them to relationships and parenting. You can read about other topics here.

Watching and listening to John C. Maxwell speak is a lesson in humility. Here is a man who has met with dozens of national leaders around the world, coaches powerful business leaders and has authored several books. At the conference, he gets in front of an audience of over 300,000 (including simulcast) and he talks about how much he loves people. How much he wants other people to feel important. Everyone, not just people he knows or likes. This guy knows where it’s at.

Maxwell’s talk centred around the importance of adding value to other people. He says, “Every day, intentionally add value to people”. For many of us, it’s probably not too hard to add value to a stranger by holding a door for them, paying for the coffee of the person behind us in the drive through, or offering some change to a struggling person with their hand held out downtown. What about adding value to our spouses and our children? The people who are most important to us are sometimes the hardest to add value to.

What does it mean to add value?

Let’s reflect. What makes you feel valuable? What little things does your spouse do for you that makes you feel on top of the world? Are there little things you do for your kids to show them how special they are to you? My daughter just had her 4th birthday. I woke her up in the morning with a balloon and asked if there was a 4-year-old in the room. She giggled and shouted “it’s me!” I could tell by the look on her face that she felt on top of the world. Adding value means making people feel respected, worthwhile, truly loved, valued. They feel important. Aibileen Clark has this one mastered for the little girl in her charge.

How will you add value to your people?

Think about ways you can intentionally add value to your spouse and/or kids. Remind them who they are, and how loved they are by you. Do it daily and watch how they respond.


Adding value to others can be hard when we have ruptured relationships. If you need help repairing your relationship with your spouse, children, or yourself, contact me today to find out how counselling can help you.