I just yelled at my baby. Who yells at a baby? I’m such a bad mom.
I don’t want to be around my kids right now. I just want to run away. I’m a terrible mother.
I can’t even remember the last time I gave the baby a bath. I’m the worst mom ever.
My kids deserve better than what I can give them.
Do you ever feel like The Bad Mom? You’re convinced that everyone else is better at this mom thing than you are. Other moms have more patience with their kids, have actually showered today, have better relationships with their spouses, enjoy being a mom more than you do. It’s true, Facebook says so.
How to Kick The Bad Mom Feelings to the Curb
When you look around at all those other moms around you, you know, The Good Moms, know that they have had the same thoughts. They are looking at you thinking that you probably know exactly what you’re doing, that you never doubt yourself.
Acknowledge the thought for what it is: an unhelpful thought that is causing you trouble. Tell yourself, “I’m having a Bad Mom thought. This moment is hard, I was not at my best. This does not make me a Bad Mom”. Take a breath, and move onto the next thing.
Make a list of the things you’re doing right. Even the small things. I bathed the baby once this week: high-five! I actually enjoyed some time playing with my toddler: another high-five! I only yelled once today: double high-five! Remind yourself that you have Best Mom Ever moments too.
Be okay with okay. You don’t have to be perfect. Other people's lives are far less perfect than we think they are. Some days we suck, and we’ll do better tomorrow. Some days we will hit the ball out of the park, but don’t make that your standard. Good enough really is good enough.
Talk about it. Once you take the leap and talk about your Bad Mom thoughts with a friend or therapist, you’ll discover that you’re not alone. We’ve all felt this way at one time or another, and there really is nothing like hearing “me too!”
Know that your kids think you’re the best even when you feel like the worst. You are not going to ruin your children for life, you will have sucky moments, and you will have amazing moments. You can choose which moments you will let define yourself.
If you’re having difficulty coping with The Bad Mom thoughts, contact me to find out more about the services I offer.