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Are You Living with a Lover or a Roommate?

After the glow of new love wears off, you settle into the daily grind of life. Paying bills, keeping up the house, chasing children, dishes, laundry, careers… It can all add up. One night you look over at your partner and wonder who this person is that’s sitting at the other end of the couch. You want to have a meaningful conversation, but you don’t even know where to start. You want to have sex, but your partner looks so tired, and you’re quite sure the answer will be no.

Feeling disconnected from your partner can leave a huge sense of emptiness in your relationship. You might begin to wonder if the two of you are even meant to be together anymore. You find yourself more critical of flaws in your partner, and you have the same argument about the same thing every time. Why can’t you load the dishwasher the right way? Can’t you just put your stuff away? Just get yourself organized already!

At the root of these small complaints is often a feeling of not being truly understood and appreciated by your partner. When you have to ask for the same thing repeatedly, you can begin to feel as though you’re not respected. Not worthwhile. After all, we all want to feel like we matter to each other, that we’re the most important person on earth to the one we love.

When partners have a strong sense of connection and emotional safety with each other, they are more capable of not only asking for their needs to be met, but also in hearing each other’s requests with openness and a willingness to make changes. When you feel confident in your partner’s love for you, you’ll be able to tackle life’s biggest challenges, because you know that your lover has your back. If you fall, someone will be there to catch you.

 

This kind of emotional safety doesn’t usually come easily. If you’re ready to leave your roommate status behind and get back into lover mode, contact me to set up an appointment.