You know that moment when your partner comes home and asks, “so, what did you do all day?” And you just cringe. And the guilt creeps in. And then the defensiveness. “I kept your kid alive! What more do you want?!?” Maybe there’s your own internal voice chiming in, wondering why you can’t seem to ever get to that pile of dishes, or that load of laundry that you’ve had to re-wash because it started to smell weird.
As moms we place so many expectations on ourselves. Must do daily tummy time. Must provide stimulating activities so baby is intelligent. Must exclusively breastfeed. Must keep clean house. Must feed children organic, free-range homemade everything, cut out in cute shapes so they will actually eat it. I’m exhausted just writing this list!
It’s amazing how such tiny humans require so much of our time. It can certainly leave us feeling drained, and wondering with frustration why we can’t keep up with it all. We end up “shoulding” all over ourselves, thinking of all the things we “should” be getting done.
So listen, sweet Mama. You are doing So. Very. Much. Keeping that baby alive is so very worthwhile. And so very busy. You spend your days feeding and changing and putting down for naps and soothing and feeding and burping and staring at that sleeping little cherub. It’s ok if those dishes wait a little longer. It’s ok to choose taking a nap (or Netflix) over cleaning a toilet. You are doing the most important work there is.
Dads: she is doing So. Very. Much. A mom’s job is constant. It is exhausting, both physically and emotionally. Find a way to ask about her day that doesn’t induce feelings of guilt in her - she may not even remember what she did all day. There’s a good chance she will feel criticized for not getting enough done around the house, even though that probably wasn’t your intent. Try saying “tell me about your day”. And yes, we know you dads work hard too.
So please know that this feeling is normal. Your days are very full. Keep your expectations realistic. I love this video that shows a great visual of why it’s so hard to take a shower.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with All The Things and need a safe place to vent/cry/talk it out, please get in touch today.