As a follow-up to yesterday’s post about self-compassion, it seemed appropriate to talk a little bit about self-care. I can already hear you laughing to yourself. “Yeah, right. Who has time for that!” Sometimes we think of self-care as doing big, time-consuming things, like spending a day at the spa, or going away for a night. These things are great! But maybe not realistic when you’ve got young kids around, or limited funds.
Raise your hand if you’re harder on yourself than you are on anyone else. C’mon. It won’t hurt to admit it. My hand is in the air too. We often have a monologue running through our heads: “Why did I just do that? What a dumb thing to say! Why can’t I get anything right? I suck at life/parenting/marriage. I can’t seem to make good decisions.” These are the lies that depression and anxiety tell us.
I recently started a 30-day blogging challenge. While I'm not going to do it all in 30 days, I will get those 30 blogs written! Here's a round-up of the 5 most popular blog posts since I've started.
1. The Bad Mom
Ever feel like the Worst Mom Ever? You're not alone. Read on for ideas of how to kick negative thinking to the curb
2. What Really Happens in Couples Counselling
A not-so-secret look inside the first session of counselling (spoiler alert: it's not as scary as you think!)
3. 5 Ways to Rekindle the Spark
When the flame has sizzled out, here's how to reconnect.
4. Added Value
Making those we love feel valued is one of the most important things you can do. Here's what to do.
5. How to Stay Calm in the Moment
Kids driving you up the wall? S.T.O.P. and then react.
There you have it. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, it has been a journey for me. Feel free to comment or contact me if you have topics you want to read about. And of course, if you're struggling in a relationship, whether romantic or parenting, please contact me to talk about how counselling or parent coaching can help you.
Attending a conference, for me, feels like an overload of inspiration, excitement, learning, and momentum, followed by a crash-landing of a return to real life. In an effort to maintain some momentum and consolidate my own learning, I decided to write about the things I learned and apply them to relationships and parenting.
When life starts to catch up to you, and you your relationship with your partner has been put on the back burner, it can be hard to remember what drew you together in the first place. You spend your days busy with work and kids. Your evening are full of preparing for tomorrow, or crashing on the couch with Netflix. You can’t even remember the last time you had a conversation with your spouse about anything other than the kids and the details of daily life.
After the glow of new love wears off, you settle into the daily grind of life. Paying bills, keeping up the house, chasing children, dishes, laundry, careers… It can all add up. One night you look over at your partner and wonder who this person is that’s sitting at the other end of the couch. You want to have a meaningful conversation, but you don’t even know where to start. You want to have sex, but your partner looks so tired, and you’re quite sure the answer will be no.
I just yelled at my baby. Who yells at a baby? I’m such a bad mom.
I don’t want to be around my kids right now. I just want to run away. I’m a terrible mother.
I can’t even remember the last time I gave the baby a bath. I’m the worst mom ever.
My kids deserve better than what I can give them.
Do you ever feel like The Bad Mom? You’re convinced that everyone else is better at this mom thing than you are. Other moms have more patience with their kids, have actually showered today, have better relationships with their spouses, enjoy being a mom more than you do. It’s true, Facebook says so.