I tend to become a little self-reflective on my birthday every year. I take the day off, do some things for myself, get together with someone I love. This year I decided to share my reflections. Enjoy!
Back in the early days of my undergraduate social work program, we learned about “intended” and “unintended” consequences. Intended consequences are what you expected to happen. For example, someone starts some kind of social service program that trains unemployed folks for jobs. Intended consequence: people get jobs. Then we would have to come up with a list of unintended consequences. These might be positive or negative.
I was that kid who lived for back-to-school shopping. I didn’t always need new clothes, but I adored school supplies. Nothing made my day more than a brand-new pack of pencil crayons, fresh notebooks, and a set of those cool new Crayola markers in the “bold” shades - you know the ones - raspberry, teal, mustard yellow, that deep navy blue… Walking through Walmart now, my 9-year-old self would probably pass out at all the amazing options. I mean, sparkle markers? Yes, please!
t’s been a long day, hasn’t it? You were up before the sun, because toddlers can be jerks. And you were up in the night, because toddlers just have this need to know that you’re still there, even when they’re sleeping. And you couldn’t fall asleep last night because your ever-growing to-do list was running through your head. Over. And over. And over. And your muscles ache because you tried to exercise today, and now you wince at ever again having to use those muscles in strange places that you didn’t even know existed in your body.
Hey there new mama. I see you there, with your fresh new baby in your arms. Listening to the sounds of her sweet baby breath. Tracing the outlines of his tiny, perfect lips. Breathing in all the new baby smells. Covering every last inch of that little one with kisses. Marvelling that this tiny being was inside your body only weeks, days, or even just hours ago. Wanting to soak up all this newness and beauty, and not miss a second of it. Wanting to show the world that you are the Mama, and you can do this!
You’ve heard of the “push present”, right? You know the one - where a dutiful husband goes and buys his lady something shiny to show how much he appreciates her hard work in growing and birthing your little angel. Push presents are great. But there are other gifts you can give your partner that don’t cost a thing, and will likely be even more meaningful to her as you build your family together.
Did you know that pregnancy and early parenthood is a prime time to bond with your partner? Your body is producing oxytocin, aka “the love hormone”, and this makes you more likely to feel close to your growing baby and to your partner (emotionally, even if not physically, because let’s be honest, pregnancy can also make you feel gross).
I recently started a 30-day blogging challenge. While I'm not going to do it all in 30 days, I will get those 30 blogs written! Here's a round-up of the 5 most popular blog posts since I've started.
1. The Bad Mom
Ever feel like the Worst Mom Ever? You're not alone. Read on for ideas of how to kick negative thinking to the curb
2. What Really Happens in Couples Counselling
A not-so-secret look inside the first session of counselling (spoiler alert: it's not as scary as you think!)
3. 5 Ways to Rekindle the Spark
When the flame has sizzled out, here's how to reconnect.
4. Added Value
Making those we love feel valued is one of the most important things you can do. Here's what to do.
5. How to Stay Calm in the Moment
Kids driving you up the wall? S.T.O.P. and then react.
There you have it. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, it has been a journey for me. Feel free to comment or contact me if you have topics you want to read about. And of course, if you're struggling in a relationship, whether romantic or parenting, please contact me to talk about how counselling or parent coaching can help you.
Attending a conference, for me, feels like an overload of inspiration, excitement, learning, and momentum, followed by a crash-landing of a return to real life. In an effort to maintain some momentum and consolidate my own learning, I decided to write about the things I learned and apply them to relationships and parenting.