You’re going about your day when something sneaks up on you. Again. You feel the tightening in your chest, your heart starts pounding, your mind begins to race. It’s almost paralyzing, this feeling. Then that Voice inside begins to taunt you:
“What if you drop the baby? What if I do it on purpose? What kind of mom are you? Why can’t I get these thoughts out of my head? I’m a terrible person! Make this go away!!!”
Anxiety has you in its grip and now you’re fighting to get free so you can get on with your day.
t’s been a long day, hasn’t it? You were up before the sun, because toddlers can be jerks. And you were up in the night, because toddlers just have this need to know that you’re still there, even when they’re sleeping. And you couldn’t fall asleep last night because your ever-growing to-do list was running through your head. Over. And over. And over. And your muscles ache because you tried to exercise today, and now you wince at ever again having to use those muscles in strange places that you didn’t even know existed in your body.
You’ve heard of the “push present”, right? You know the one - where a dutiful husband goes and buys his lady something shiny to show how much he appreciates her hard work in growing and birthing your little angel. Push presents are great. But there are other gifts you can give your partner that don’t cost a thing, and will likely be even more meaningful to her as you build your family together.
As a follow-up to yesterday’s post about self-compassion, it seemed appropriate to talk a little bit about self-care. I can already hear you laughing to yourself. “Yeah, right. Who has time for that!” Sometimes we think of self-care as doing big, time-consuming things, like spending a day at the spa, or going away for a night. These things are great! But maybe not realistic when you’ve got young kids around, or limited funds.
I just yelled at my baby. Who yells at a baby? I’m such a bad mom.
I don’t want to be around my kids right now. I just want to run away. I’m a terrible mother.
I can’t even remember the last time I gave the baby a bath. I’m the worst mom ever.
My kids deserve better than what I can give them.
Do you ever feel like The Bad Mom? You’re convinced that everyone else is better at this mom thing than you are. Other moms have more patience with their kids, have actually showered today, have better relationships with their spouses, enjoy being a mom more than you do. It’s true, Facebook says so.